Can You Accept And Let Go?

Glorious morning! Today's quote is from Gautama Buddha

“ serenity comes when you trade expectations for acceptance”.

This quote reminds me of slowing down and trusting the divine . For so many years I was trying to force a relationship ( my previous marriage ) that I wanted for myself. I had this “ideal” relationship in mind but was I even with a person that wanted similar things, and had similar values? I was attracted to him at the time but there was conflict ( in between the harmony) that persisted for decades. Looking back I realized I had an agenda to mold him to what I felt I needed him to be in order for me to be happy.

My mindset at the time was…. “ well if he would just do this more or do that more” I could then be happier, or if he would just stop doing this or that, then I wouldn't get so upset. Well that way of thinking never panned out for me. I spent decades trying to grow him into my ideal partner. On the other hand, he too wanted me to be a certain way in areas of our relationship that was not natural for me and I was forcing myself to do things that I really did not want to do, but did it anyway to “ keep the peace". I think anytime someone suppresses who they are to please another will slowly die inside.

That is what was happening to me. We are also not helping the other person if we allow them to have that kind of controlling influence. Looking back, had I given myself the patience to develop myself more and not rush into the relationship, I could have avoided a lot of unnecessary suffering. I do not regret the relationship at all because it has taught me tremendous lessons and blessed me with 3 children who have helped shape my life in immeasurable ways.

One of the most important lessons was acceptance of what is and not to force what is not. We tend to stay in relationships with this forced kind of mindset thinking, oh one day he will finally change and then we will live harmoniously. I see a lot of parents who try to force their kids into careers without taking into consideration if that is what their soul wants. when anyone denies their soul, it never feels fully satisfied, there will always be something missing. A void so to speak, that needs to be filled with our original desire, not forced by anyone. That is freedom. I think sometimes the parents are either living through their children so the kids can fulfill a dream that the parents once had for themselves or they get a sense of security if their kids do what the parents feel is right for them. We really don't have a right to expect anyone to be different then who they are.

Even people who break the law and do horrible things. Wishing them to be different so we can be ok and not get upset for what they do is a form of resistance that blocks our own peace. I am not saying it is “OK” for people to do bad things, but I accept what is and wish for a better world. The person breaking the law is acting on their own free will and will be judged by God. Acceptance of what is can really free us up to focus on things we can control, like our thoughts, our will, our actions and how much love we give out. That's a job in and of itself to manage. Taking on other people’s stuff is not our job. Acceptance frees us to only have expectations of ourselves and that holds ourselves accountable to ourself and that's when we really grow and make progress. Do you struggle with acceptance? Do you feel the need to control others or situations? Backpack therapy can help eliminate those blocks. Make a free discovery call today. Peace be with you, Dawn

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