Letting go of mistakes

Glorious morning!

Have you ever made a mistake! Laugh out loud right? Today we will dive into a quote by John wooden.

“ A mistake is valuable if you do 4 things with it. Recognize it, admit it, learn from it, forget it “

John Wooden was born in 1910 and lived to be just a couple months shy of 100 years old. John was an American basketball coach and former player.  He was renowned for his short , simple inspirational messages to his players, many of which were directed at how to be a success in life as well as in basketball. ( I like that kind of coaching, yes? ) His 29-year coaching career and overwhelming critical acclaim for his leadership have created a legacy not only in sports but also extending to personal success. He was clearly an enlightened coach who knew to get anywhere with someone , it's with encouragement not condemnation, that’s why I love that quote from him.

What the quote says to me is, if we make our mistakes our teachers, we can learn and grow from them. When we learn and grow, we become empowered and smarter. I believe it is why we are here in what I call, “ earth school “. How can we learn and expand without making mistakes? We really can't. For instance, it's great if we teach the toddler not to touch the stove because we know and say it's hot, but will the toddler ever really know why he shouldn't touch it. Unfortunately, actually touching the hot stove is a more memorable teacher because it doesn't even need words, it is experienced. Experience is the teacher. So let's put the quote to the test with the toddler. Did he recognize the mistake of touching the hot stove? Well yes it hurt. Did he admit it? His little burned finger says yes it definitely happened. Did he learn from it? Chances are he will never touch it again unless he is sure in some other way that it is not hot. And lastly did he forget it? Because the toddler does not have an EGO, he will never get upset with himself for doing a foolish thing , also he didn't know enough for it even to be foolish, and yes he will be playing with his toys as soon as mommy kisses his boo boo, so he will forget it in that way. Now let's examine an adult with that pesky little ( or big ) thing called EGO. This is where our EGO can trip us up and work against us when we make a mistake. If we were ridiculed as a child from our primary caregivers then sometimes recognizing a mistake might be a shameful experience. That can easily turn into ignorance of one's mistakes, and we can’t learn that way. As far as admitting it, well that takes a certain degree of self esteem, again going back to our past experiences growing up. If we were yelled at for being imperfect and for making mistakes, then we develop low self esteem and shame. Then making mistakes becomes unbearable, because admitting them will leave them feeling horrible and shameful, instead of sorry and correcting it if possible. The worst part of making a mistake in my opinion is not forgetting it. To me, if you make a mistake and are sorry and apologize and work on correcting it, then it's over and done with and learned from. A win win. However, if there is shame attached to it from your old program, then forgetting it is a challenge. Too often people beat themselves up for making mistakes and being imperfect, when in reality we are all mistake makers and imperfect. The trouble is when someone thinks there is something wrong with being that part of a human. That is taught by past experiences. To hold oneself up to a standard of perfection, has a level of unconscious low self esteem running their show. That is tragic because we need to process our mistakes to grow. When we avoid processing them, we keep the old program in place and can't grow in self love.

Everyone deserves to love themselves, mistakes and all. Show me someone who doesn't make mistakes and I will show you a flower that can grow without the energy of the sun. Do you have feelings of inadequacy from old events that shaped your life? Do you ever hate yourself for making mistakes that caused grief in your life or the life of another? I can help you see where that self loathing came from so it can be brought to the light for release. Make a free discovery call with me today. Peace be with you, Dawn

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