Do You Communicate Well?

Glorious morning!

Today’s quote is from Tony Robbins.

“ The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.”

Communication is truly the key to healthy relationships. In this quote he is referring to communication with yourself as well as with others. It is important for both. It definitely starts with ourselves. If we have not come to a place of healing, then our self talk can be quite negative and unloving.

If our parent or parents were verbally abusive or critical, then that would be our rudder for communication going forward, unless we heal it. Everything we communicate is laced with either the healed part of us or the wounded part of us, or both. It’s pretty safe to say if we go into a store to buy something and we are rude and ugly with our energy while asking for help finding something, chances are the person on the receiving end won't feel so inclined to go the extra mile, or worse it can possibly trigger the workers own unhealed trauma and the situation elevates into a negative exchange.

On the other hand if the person goes into the store and is kind and appreciative, most likely the person goes out of their way to help and possibly a beautiful conversation can arise. That conversation can even lead to many possibilities that can even further your life or theirs. Learning how to communicate is essential for personal growth. It is the very foundation of all relationships. The way we communicate will dictate how well we can get along with others. We all know what happens when we can't get along well with others. It all starts with how gentle and kind we are to ourselves.

If we don't really like what we see in the mirror, that will be projected out when we communicate in one form or another. Have you ever experienced a rude stranger or co-worker or family member ? We all have at one time or another, but why is the stranger or co worker or family member being rude? They are just communicating what's inside of them. Most of the world has no idea that their own rudeness is spilling out of them due to their own unhealed life. We can never develop long lasting healthy relationships until we learn healthy communication. Communication is not just heard verbally but felt energetically.

The feelings and intentions behind the words matter even more in my opinion. If someone is upset and triggered and is in that triggered state, how you respond can make all the difference. If you are annoyed and get triggered right back, then there is no chance for resolution in that moment, in fact the negative energy the person is projecting is now merged with your own and the situation becomes an emotional mess. Yet if you can hold space for the person ( not always warranted if they are verbally abusing you) and be a good listener and gently and lovingly help them see the light of the situation, that can help them get out of their triggered state and back to a place of productive solutions. How we communicate determines how we flow in the world.

I personally like to spread my light and will communicate that light with everyone and anyone, that doesn't mean I am always met with the same intentions. Some people are intimated by it and some even get triggered by it ( their own unhealed stuff ) . I have learned that not everyone even deserves that light from you, what do you mean by that Dawn? If you are always generous with your light and someone is triggered by it ( sometimes jealousy) and communicates with hostility or anger, then removing yourself from that person's life is sometimes the best course of action. In other words, if you give a candy bar to someone and they accept it and say thank you and then they slap you in the face, it’s safe to say “ gee I think that person needs to work on themselves a bit, no more candy bar giving for now”.

Sometimes communication needs to stop so the person has time to become aware of their own communication style and how it's working for them. Sometimes that doesn't happen and that's ok. It just means to give those candy bars to the ones who will hug you for it instead of slapping you. Send them love and light from a distance. Do you have problems communicating effectively ? Backpack therapy can help you discover where you need to heal and improve. Make a free discovery call today.Peace be with you, Dawn