Don't Be Fooled!

Stop the Cycle of being fooled

Glorious morning!

Today the quote we will expand on was mentioned as far back as 1650 by a man named Anthony Weldon, he wrote a book describing the court of King James. The quote was originally

“He that deceives me once, it’s his fault. If twice, it’s my fault. “

Nowadays it speaks more like

“ fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. “

Oh I think we can all relate to this one for sure! I think being fooled by someone is an excellent opportunity to learn how to develop healthy boundaries. Let’s be real honest here, when someone fools us, it’s only because they can. That can only be changed by us. When we realize we were fooled, we must ask ourselves, “ how did I not see it coming?” and then ask ourselves, “ why did I not see it coming? “ Those questions can really help us not focus on the dirty deed that the other person perpetrated but why are we not aware enough to smell the deceit as it is happening. If we get angry and focus on the other person, we might not ever develop enough self responsibility and self awareness to become a person who no longer tolerates being fooled or taken advantage of.

I will give you a real good example with my own first hand experience. Many years ago when I was dating my ex husband, we were still living at our parents houses and I had just started to run a dog grooming shop. He just started a home improvement business and of course being a new business, it was slow and not making a ton of money yet. He would periodically ask me for money, stating he doesn't have enough for this or that. I would give him money any time he would ask.

Fast forward to about a year later he wanted to buy a house for our future family that we had often talked about and it was a foreclosure. Together we we asking our family to borrow some money for a down payment of like 40,000 and he said I already have 30,000 dollars to put down on my own. I was like WHAAAAAT? I said where did you get that? He said I have been saving all year. So here is the first red flag for me. He had been asking me for money that year and hid the fact that he actually had money but did not want to spend any of his , so he wanted to spend mine. He never mentioned anything about saving. I was fooled once, shame on him. Well fast forward even more like 38 years more to my divorce. I found out after the divorce papers were signed and it was time for him to start paying me my installments for buying me out of the house, he had stuffed away massive amounts of cash behind my back. How did I know this ? Each installment was cash. He had access to large amounts of cash unbeknownst to me.

Boy did the familiar feeling come back. But this time, fool me twice, shame on ME. I had the choice to get very mad and remain bitter and dislike him for life, or take my own responsibility and say, well Dawn, it’s not like it was the first time he did this and why was I allowing the behavior in the first place?. Why did I not take more financial responsibility and control of OUR finances? Why did I leave it all up to him, which gave him full reign to be secretive. Now that I know my own weakness that got me into a bit of trouble, I am working diligently at correcting my life so that it never happens again. Taking responsibility for situations we allow ourselves to end up in ( mostly unconsciously ) is the best solution to avoiding playing the fool ever again. We can't guarantee the fools will keep fooling, but we can guarantee not to accept the foolish behavior.

Are you or someone you know a glutton for punishment? Backpack therapy is a great tool to bring awareness to hidden things that are sabotaging our future. Make a free discovery call today. Peace be with you. Dawn

Discovery Call

Book Now