Don't Worry

Glorious morning!

  Lets expand on a quote today from Janis Joplin.

“ You can destroy your now by worrying about tomorrow.”

Well it doesn't even have to be worrying about tomorrow, just plain worrying can ruin your now. I would like to come today from my mothering point of view on worrying. Being a mother has been the most magical and amazing experience of my life. Having pure little souls  around in their natural joyous state was something I was very grateful for and really appreciated, they were a constant reminder of God to me.

Along with being a parent and experiencing the joys of motherhood is worry. We worry about , are they eating enough, are they up to date with learning their alphabet, are they reading at grade level, are they being treated nicely by other children at school, the list goes on forever. As they turn into young adults , the worries can grow even bigger. Little kids have little problems, big kids , big problems. When they are young, we as parents can easily guide them and help fix their problems.

The transition to adulthood brings a new dynamic. When do we step aside as the guide and caregiver and let them handle their problems? That is a difficult task for sure. I am still learning how to not worry so much about my children's lives so I can enjoy my “now”. The issue that arises with parenting is , one day you are responsible for their shelter, safety, wellbeing, health and education and guidance and the next day none of that is needed. The job as a parent when they are grown is to let them care for all of those things themselves. If they struggle doing some of those things then that is where worry can set in. Worrying can definitely steal joy.

When we worry about our loved ones we are basically taking on their “stuff”. Put that on top of our own “stuff” and now there is a recipe for drain and overload. I have had many moments worrying myself sick when one of my children was struggling with their life path, it can be heart wrenching to watch. I am slowly learning how to let go of that worry so I don't hurt myself. Yes, thinking and worrying about your adult child's problems can take the joy out of your life. The time spent in worry can also take away from our own creative expression and focus. I am learning that I can either focus on their struggle and sadness and feel horrible or I can pray, send my love and light whenever I think about them and then focus on what I want to create in my own life.

I spent many years trying desperately to help and guide one of my children who is struggling on their path and have come to realize the journey is his own. Just like my journey before I had him was my own. When we are closely connected to loved ones we can easily share pain and sadness and that is necessary at times. There is a time and a place to offer your loving space to them while they are figuring out how to heal their own life. As a parent I tended to inject myself into their problem to try and help not only them but for me. I wanted them to be ok so I could be ok. That is manipulation for our own wellbeing. I needed to learn how to manage my own joy without conditions. In other words, I need to learn how to still be grateful and happy even when they are not doing well. Not easy.

I still struggle at times being happy and at peace when any of my children are suffering but I am learning how to let go of control, how to surrender my burden to God and how to carry on with my own story and mission. Just managing my own mission is time consuming. Taking on my kids' missions would eventually crush my own mission. There is a balance and I am learning that for my own sanity and well being and for my children's self empowerment and well being. The one thing I can always give them is my undying love but I don't have to give them my worry. I give that to God now. Do you struggle with excessive worry? Backpack therapy can help find the cause so it can be arrested and surrendered. Make a free discovery call today. Peace be with you, Dawn

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