Soul Or Ego?

Glorious morning!

Today I would like to expand on a quote from Darren Johnson. “ The ego constantly competes with the spirit for control over your inner voice “ Wow , I mean if we can only remember that every time we are about to speak and ask ourselves, Is what I am about to say coming from my ego? Or is it coming from my soul? I’m thinking we can save ourselves a lot of grief when we are operating strictly from our soul.

I personally have learned that if I am talking with someone and I am getting annoyed or irritated with the person then that is a time where it is really beneficial to know we are responding from our soul. We are all mirrors for each other. We learn how to grow when we realize the irritation we feel is really our ego wanting to correct or control what the person just said. For instance, not too long ago I was having a conversation about a childhood trauma that I had healed and was explaining to him how I had worked through it, when I was done he said it was way too much information. I immediately apologized and said “ gosh I’m sorry, I can be really open and revealing with people “ he then proceeded ( completely off subject and out of nowhere ) to call me a flirt.

I was a bit baffled, I have to be honest. I then said “ well i know what flirting is and I am definitely NOT flirting with you “ I ended the conversation nicely but walked away from that conversation a bit annoyed. I took it a bit personally ( EGO ) . The irritation I was feeling was because I was annoyed that he was perceiving me in a way that I did not intend him to receive me. I later walked up to him and made sure he knew “ how wrong “ it was to perceive me that way. Again that was my ego wanting to control how he perceived me. As time went by I was very curious as to why such an odd statement would be blurted out seemingly from nowhere. When I got quiet enough and open enough, I reminisced on the conversation and realized when I was talking about my childhood, it triggered things about his own childhood that he was not ready to look at and did not want to feel vulnerable so his defensive response was to view me as someone trying to reach that place inside him.

He then deflected his vulnerability and put the attention on me. He was threatened by my kindness and openness. That is when I realized his awkward comment had nothing to do with me but really had to do with his own issues of viewing women who are nice and authentic and open as women who are trying to persuade him to get vulnerable. Alas! When we look into our own sour reaction we can take that as our spirit helping us to look deeper at the REAL reason I was feeling that way. In reality my initial sour reaction to him was me expecting him to be where I am spiritually or emotionally.

Expecting him to see my openness as a gift to possibly help him go deeper into his own baggage. That is not my job if someone is not ready, If they are not ready, they can act defensively in many ways. Had I listened to my inner voice the moment I got the annoyed feeling from his awkward comment and made sure my ego did not respond, I would have realized right away that he was in a defensive, deflecting state and I would have felt a bit sorry for him instead of for me. That takes a lot of self awareness and I am still working on it, lol. Each time we realize our own inner reactions as a teacher instead of an intruder  to be offended by, we can master our joy. I wasted a lot of time judging him and taking offense and it’s just not necessary. Do you or anyone you know struggle with taking things personally and can't seem to get past it? Backpack therapy can help you realize how to grow from our own triggers. Make a free discovery call today. Peace be with you, Dawn

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